11th September 2017
So today was interesting. A Mum stopped me at the school gates and asked if she could have a coffee with me. Apparently, she’s been reading my blog. I can’t believe it!
At first I was totally shocked and confused about why she wanted to talk to me. I have always assumed that this blog is something I write to an anonymous audience, but it turns out I am completely wrong. Actually, it was a real pleasure to meet someone who’s following my story. We’re going to meet to talk further – I have a feeling that she’s in a similar position. It’s a lonely journey separating and divorcing from your partner and this could be an opportunity to ease that feeling a little.
5th September 2017
Three nights away at Centre Parcs wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it might have been, the kids had a great time – if a little too much fast food – but I think it was really important that they got to spend some time with their Dad.
It actually gave me time to think clearly about what I need to sort out over the next month or so. When I’m really busy at work it sometimes feels like we’re making great progress and that things are getting resolved quickly. However, it is in the quieter times that I realise we still have to sort out the financials, whether we’re going to get to stay in my beautiful house, and how often James will see the children. All topics that quite frankly I’m not keen to discuss. Maybe I can just hide behind Marilyn?!
We also need to talk about the girlfriend.
20th August 2017
James is taking Dylan and Lottie to Centre Parcs for 3 nights and I’m doing my best to be fine about the whole thing.
I am really aware that I have just been away for two weeks with the children, and that he must have missed them, but packing their things for 3 nights is tough. They will have great fun, I know, but this is really the first time they’ve have been away from me and it’s going to be challenging to be alone. I should really have organised to go out, but if I’m honest, I think even if I had, I would have cancelled as I’m not feeling sociable.
I am grateful that Amelia the girlfriend isn’t going to be there though. I did have to have a word about it but James was quite reasonable and agreed that it wasn’t appropriate. Anyway, the kids are very excited and so I’m going to do my best to do the same, it’s the least I can do.
12th August 2017
Isn’t it amazing how two weeks away in Northern Spain can make you feel like a new woman. The kids and I have come away with my Mum and Dad and I don’t know if it’s the lovely warm weather or the setting, but I’m feeling really positive about what my future may hold. I know that I still have a way to go in terms of the settlement particularly as things aren’t forthcoming from James, but it feels like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
For the first time in a very long time, I have had the time (and inclination) to read a whole book, plus I’ve been able to sit quietly & watch Lottie and Dylan having fun in the pool together with their Grandad. Just bliss.
Mum and Dad have been brilliant as always, and have given me space to think and contemplate my future. I hadn’t really realised how much of this affects them too, but we’ve had really constructive conversations, and I think we all feel ready to deal with the rest of the practicalities quickly and efficiently.
28th July 2017
Nothing back from James’s solicitor. I had a feeling this would prove to be difficult. I’m just going to concentrate on my holiday and come back to this after my break. I can’t wait for two weeks away without having to think about James or solicitors. Marilyn is being my rock and I trust to keep things moving whilst I’m away. I need some space to replenish my energy. See you on the other side!