The Reluctant Divorcee

Brought to you by SA Law

I’ve never considered writing a blog before; it’s the kind of thing other people do. I’m more of a fact-based person but things are so all over the place at the moment that writing down my thoughts and feelings suddenly feels like the right thing to do. It helps me to organise my thoughts a bit, and who knows, someone else might read this who’s going through the same thing. So here it is: My blog, by Rebecca Green.
Previous Post

Two weeks in Spain is just what the doctor ordered

Isn’t it amazing how two weeks away in Northern Spain can make you feel like a new woman. The kids and I have come away with my Mum and Dad and I don’t know if it’s the lovely warm weather or the setting, but I’m feeling really positive about what my future may hold. I know that I still have a way to go in terms of the settlement particularly as things aren’t forthcoming from James, but it feels like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

For the first time in a very long time, I have had the time (and inclination) to read a whole book, plus I’ve been able to sit quietly & watch Lottie and Dylan having fun in the pool together with their Grandad. Just bliss.

Mum and Dad have been brilliant as always, and have given me space to think and contemplate my future. I hadn’t really realised how much of this affects them too, but we’ve had really constructive conversations, and I think we all feel ready to deal with the rest of the practicalities quickly and efficiently.

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Radio Silence

Nothing back from James’s solicitor. I had a feeling this would prove to be difficult. I’m just going to concentrate on my holiday and come back to this after my break. I can’t wait for two weeks away without having to think about James or solicitors. Marilyn is being my rock and I trust to keep things moving whilst I’m away. I need some space to replenish my energy. See you on the other side!

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Money, Money, Money

It looks like I can’t get James released from the mortgage. That’s not good news. I have to discuss this with James it means it will be more difficult for him to borrow money to buy a place for himself. The financial disclosure queries are still rumbling on and that could impact the house conversation. Marilyn was not satisfied with the answers received to her written queries about James’s disclosure. We really should investigate his high levels of anticipated monthly spend, particularly as the children will spend most of their time with me – or so we intend. That’s another area we need to sort out. She’s going to write back to his solicitor and request a round table meeting with James and his solicitor.

I really don’t feel comfortable with the way this is panning out. It doesn’t feel that James is being fair or straight with us. Whilst I’m not looking forward to a face-to-face conversation about money, I do agree that it’s the only way forward. I will not have my children penalised because we are splitting up.

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Our House, Our Home

James is thinking about my suggestion that the kids and I stay in this house. We’ve agreed that I am going to investigate whether I can get him released from our current mortgage, then we can continue the conversation. I think he may have realised that going away at the end of term was not a good idea and that even though he’s not living with us, his children should still be his priority. I may have laboured this point a bit. Whether it had a bearing on anything or not, the outcome is that he will think about us staying here. He was certainly more open to the suggestion as it was something that he wouldn’t even consider before. I have a meeting with a mortgage broker tomorrow.

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James missed sports day

Lottie had her sports day yesterday but James wasn’t there. He chose to go to Lisbon with Amelia instead.

The end of the school year is such a busy time with endless activities, open evenings, performances and outings, all of which parents are asked to attend. When we were together, I would organise his diary so that he could come along to at least some of these things, but I think that his priorities have changed somewhat with Amelia on the scene. I did my best not to get too cross about it all but I can’t help but feel that ultimately it is Lottie who misses out whilst her Dad is swanning around Europe. It’s something we are going to have to re-think for next year so that this doesn’t happen again.

Having said all that, Lottie did brilliantly! And I was so proud to be able to watch her do her very best and to see her chatting away with all her friends. It’s good to see that she is popular at school and has support around her. It was just a shame James wasn’t there too to run in the Dad’s race.