3rd October 2017
James and I had a proper conversation yesterday about Lottie and Dylan. He dropped them off after taking them to see his parents for Sunday lunch and stayed for a cup of tea. It almost felt natural for the first time in a long time. We talked about Lottie’s phonics workshop and the challenges for her this year at school, and about Dylan’s latest exploits with his dinosaurs.
Money wasn’t mentioned and I don’t know if his solicitor has suggested the roundtable to him yet, but we talked about formalising when he sees the children. It’s all been rather ad hoc over the summer which I feel is distressing them a little. They are going to visit him every other weekend from Saturday mid-morning until Sunday afternoon. I explained that I really wanted them home for tea so I could get them settled early to be ready for school on a Monday.
It feels like an anticlimax now that we’ve had this conversation. I was dreading talking about it: I don’t know what I was expecting, but now we’ve spoken, I’m surprisingly alright with this arrangement. I suppose that I knew that this was the sensible option, but I was really worried about the idea of having to talk to James in the lead-up to it. I’m grateful that Marilyn took the time to explain the benefits of talking about it and it gave me reassurance but I was fearful that he may demand a whole lot more time with the children. Dylan is so young, I’m so grateful that this situation we’ve found ourselves in is reasonable.
He didn’t mention his girlfriend. If he is going to be seeing the children on his own I feel it’s important for them to have time with just their Dad, but I know if he stays with the girlfriend in the long-term we’ll have to talk about this in the future.
Now there are just the finances to sort out.