20th November 2017
Nothing is straightforward. Another call from James. This time to say that his parents want to see Lottie and Dylan on Christmas morning. In previous years they have been round before lunch but I hadn’t for one minute contemplated that they’d want to do the same this year. He even suggested that he pick up the children and take them to his parents for a few hours instead of coming to the house. They don’t exactly live around the corner and this will really disrupt the day for us all.
I called Marilyn for advice. She instantly understood my concern and her first thought was about the children and the impact on them. She suggested a compromise: that James sets up a family day with his parents on 27th – a second Christmas for the children when they’re with him. That way I won’t worry that either set of Grandparents will miss out too, Marilyn did mention that it is better in the long term to try as much as possible to keep the relationship with James’s parents as ‘normal’ as possible – they are still my children’s grandparents after all and it is important to me that they keep their relationship.
After talking everything over with Marilyn, I felt that I should invite James around first thing on Christmas Day to give the children his presents. He agreed to both suggestions! I feel that I’m beginning to understand how to mediate my way through some of these issues. An (almost) Christmas miracle indeed!