The Reluctant Divorcee

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I’ve never considered writing a blog before; it’s the kind of thing other people do. I’m more of a fact-based person but things are so all over the place at the moment that writing down my thoughts and feelings suddenly feels like the right thing to do. It helps me to organise my thoughts a bit, and who knows, someone else might read this who’s going through the same thing. So here it is: My blog, by Rebecca Green.
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One step forward, two steps back

3rd June 2017

Today I signed statement to apply for my Decreee Nisi. This has to go to the court and assuming all is in order, I’ll receive a date for my decree nisi in around 4 to 6 weeks’ time. Marilyn sent the form to me a few weeks ago but I just couldn’t bring myself to sign until she called me earlier. She explained that once we have Decree Nisi we can pause at that stage and we don’t need to apply for Decree Absolute until we’ve sorted the finances.    If the gap is more than a year we have to provide a bit more information and explain what caused the delay.  I feel better now I know that I can apply when I am ready.  Which gives me time to sort out a few more things and get used to the idea of being a divorcee. It’s a momentous day of mixed feelings especially as I’m still so churned up about finances.

Despite James being on a bit of a spending spree it appears that there’s not a lot that I can do about it until we’ve agreed our financial settlement.  It doesn’t seem fair but it’s made me more determined to get this resolved. It has spurred me on to go through his financial disclosure with a fine toothed comb and compile a list of questions about what he’s stated – and what he hasn’t. I can’t see any mention of his Nationwide account, for example, nor his pension from Smith’s. I also realised that he’s not declared the expected £100,000 inheritance from the sale of his Grandfather’s house; money that we’d earmarked for university fees for the children. Marilyn is going to send these points as written questions to his solicitor so he has to answer properly. All I want to do is pick up the phone and ask him what he’s playing at but I know he can just fob me off on the phone. It makes me so cross that I spent so long ensuring that my statement was accurate and he’s missed so much out.