The Reluctant Divorcee

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I’ve never considered writing a blog before; it’s the kind of thing other people do. I’m more of a fact-based person but things are so all over the place at the moment that writing down my thoughts and feelings suddenly feels like the right thing to do. It helps me to organise my thoughts a bit, and who knows, someone else might read this who’s going through the same thing. So here it is: My blog, by Rebecca Green.
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Swimming lessons and electricity bills – what’s a fair split?

16th May 2017

I’ve started the Financial Disclosure Statement. Well, I’ve made phone calls to my pension provider and put a lot of thought into what I spend now to live and what I will spend in the future on the children.

Marilyn has been clear in her advice that “full financial disclosure” is very important legally to ensure that we each have all the information for negotiations. Marilyn needs to know all of this otherwise she cannot advise me correctly. I’ve been as clear as possible on the form – wrestling for ages over whether to include Dylan’s swimming lessons, for example. He can’t start them until he’s three, but I’ve included them in the “future expenses” column so they can be considered as part of the maintenance agreement with James. I’ve got a few questions for Marilyn when we meet next week, but I think I’ve managed to answer most of them myself using the form’s guidance notes and Marilyn’s helpful prompt sheet. I really need her advice about what is a “fair” amount to ask for – the form asks me what I’m seeking and whilst I want sufficient to provide for my family, I don’t want to go overboard.

It’s strange to see my life in numbers like this. I know I’m more than my finances but it’s certainly a harsh reality to see them on the page – and to realise how expensive it is to live even a fairly simple life.