The Reluctant Divorcee

Brought to you by SA Law

I’ve never considered writing a blog before; it’s the kind of thing other people do. I’m more of a fact-based person but things are so all over the place at the moment that writing down my thoughts and feelings suddenly feels like the right thing to do. It helps me to organise my thoughts a bit, and who knows, someone else might read this who’s going through the same thing. So here it is: My blog, by Rebecca Green.
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The Conversation

31st January 2017

After a long heart to heart with James, it’s been agreed that we’re going to separate and I will look into divorce. The conversation wasn’t as straightforward as that sentence makes it sound. He was very angry and said a lot of very hurtful things about me and how difficult he’s going to make things. It hurt, then I got cross and now I just want to get on with it. I called SA Law again and on Marilyn’s advice, I’ve been looking online for potential new houses. Not what I want to do. I’d rather stay here but at the moment James is insisting that the house has to be sold. Yet, from what Marilyn has said, it’s not that simple.

It appears that if we can’t agree then the court decides if the house is sold, when it’s sold and how any profit is divided. It may be that I can stay here until Dylan starts school. It could mean that I can stay until they both reach 18 – but as that is an awfully long time, I can’t see James being happy that “his” money is tied up until then.

So, it boils down to whether I can be housed less expensively in this area – and as our house is worth around £850,000, the answer is, yes, despite having a big mortgage. The issue for me is that there won’t be sufficient equity for me to be mortgage free. Ideally I’d like to be so I don’t need that worry about that side of things but, the most we could hope to make after repaying the mortgage and the costs of selling the house is about £300,000. This has to be split and how much I get depends on what I’d need to buy somewhere reasonable and James can propose to the court that I have a mortgage.

Apparently, it’s possible that I could be granted a larger percentage of the proceeds to buy my house, but once the children complete their schooling, my home would have to be sold and an additional sum given to James so the equity is split more fairly. I don’t fancy having that hanging over me despite it being a solution to the mortgage issue.

So, on Marilyn’s advice, I’m starting to look at other houses and make some enquiries about how much I can borrow. I’m hoping that I can borrow around £300,000, so I could have up to £575,000 to play with – I’ve got to remember the purchase costs too. However, as she rightly points out, can I afford to pay out on this much every month? This feels like I’m taking a massive financial step backwards, and it’s horrible.

The one good thing is that time is on my side. Apparently James won’t be able to do anything quickly and he cannot force the sale. If I don’t agree to sell, there will be Court proceedings and it would be at least a year before a final Court Hearing. No immediate worry, but this is playing on my mind. I can’t help wondering if I can persuade him to let me stay?