16th March 2017
James has moved out and it was as straightforward as we could have made it. We both managed to be reasonable about the whole thing but he has only taken what he needed, so we have more sorting out to do.
Now we’re at the “playing Dad” phase. He’s suddenly available to pick up the kids from school and to do drop off, which I am grateful for, but why couldn’t he have offered to do this before? There is a very real chance that I wouldn’t be here, pouring my heart out to a blog, if he had been present in our lives earlier.
I confess to feeling upset that he gets to do all the fun things with the children. It’s Pizza this, toys that, trips to amazing places and treats right, left and centre, but at the end of the day what does he do? He just hands them back to me and gets on with his new life with his girlfriend. It doesn’t seem to matter if Charlotte’s home reading doesn’t get done or promises are broken, just as long as the kids keep smiling. That’s all well and good for the short term but I worry he’s going to let them down once he’s had enough and guess who will be picking up the pieces.
Now that he’s moved out it’s highlighted the smaller things that we still need to decide. Should I pay for a “big shop” on the joint card or not? and who pays for things for the house or it’s running costs? I’m genuinely surprised just how intertwined our lives are and how much time it is going to take to separate them out. I do know that these things will get sorted and that each step is a chance for me to move on but I’d be lying if I didn’t say how hard it is.