Article Archive

Money, Money, Money

It looks like I can’t get James released from the mortgage. That’s not good news. I have to discuss this with James it means it will be more difficult for him to borrow money to buy a place for himself.... Read More

Our House, Our Home

James is thinking about my suggestion that the kids and I stay in this house. We’ve agreed that I am going to investigate whether I can get him released from our current mortgage, then we can continue the conversation. I... Read More

James missed sports day

Lottie had her sports day yesterday but James wasn’t there. He chose to go to Lisbon with Amelia instead. The end of the school year is such a busy time with endless activities, open evenings, performances and outings, all of... Read More

The strangest feeling

Last night was the first time in over 2 years that I haven’t had my children at home with me. It was the strangest feeling. Thankfully, Ellie took me out for dinner to take my mind off things for a... Read More

It’s more than my house, it’s my home

My emotions are all over the place at the moment. I’m confused, I’m angry, I’m sad, and then I feel positive about the future again. Then that cycle repeats itself all over again. And again. In one of my “I’m... Read More

The way that you are hurting me – I just don’t understand

Another complication. James’s solicitor has responded to Marilyn’s questions about the Nationwide account and the pension. It appears that the pension has been transferred into his new corporate pension, which makes sense, but the bank account was an “oversight”. This... Read More

First money, now the children. What a month!

Well, James has backed off on his plan to go to Singapore and says that he’s off to Greece instead. That’s feels fair as he needs a break but it made me realise that we need a holiday too. I’ve... Read More

Unbelievable request

Thank goodness for Marilyn. James called me last night to tell me he was planning to go to Singapore for the Grand Prix and casinos in September. He wanted to make sure that I haven’t got any holidays planned for... Read More

One step forward, two steps back

Today I signed statement to apply for my Decreee Nisi.  .  This has to go to the court and assuming all is in order, I’ll receive a date for my decree nisi in around 4 to 6 weeks’ time. Marilyn... Read More

Revealing finances – the plain truth

James’s solicitor has returned the Acknowledgement of Service document which confirms he will pay my costs of the divorce itself. All good but he also sent over his financial disclosure. I had to fight to control myself when Marilyn showed... Read More

The hidden cost of separation

The children worry me. Dylan’s been waking up most nights crying about all sorts of things, so he’s been sleeping with me. Lottie is so quiet and pale. She’s stopped asking questions and seems withdrawn. She wants to cuddle all... Read More

My life in numbers

Today has been about finishing the Financial Disclosure Statement whilst the children were having a “Granny Day” in the park and baking cakes. Now it’s completed, it’s been a fascinating exercise to think about what I spend each week...and even... Read More

Swimming lessons and electricity bills – what’s a fair split?

I’ve started the Financial Disclosure Statement. Well, I’ve made phone calls to my pension provider and put a lot of thought into what I spend now to live and what I will spend in the future on the children. Marilyn... Read More

Climbing the Financial Disclosure Mountain

Worried this week about how on earth I’m going to complete Form E - my financial disclosure statement. Marilyn has stressed its’ importance and that I need to take the time to do it properly as it’s the basis of... Read More

Telling the children – it broke my heart

Lottie’s birthday was difficult but I think she enjoyed it, which is what matters. In the end, James took her out to breakfast - without Dylan - which she loved. He dropped her to school and I picked up. Mum... Read More

It’s her birthday and I’ll cry if I want to

It’s nearly Lottie’s 5th birthday and I can’t work out how this is going to work. It’s on a Friday so she will get up and go to school as usual but what happens after school? Quite understandably she will... Read More

Guess whose life is on hold?

So, even though James has moved out, I still seem to find myself waiting around to find out what he’s doing and then I fit in around him. Annoying, to say the least. I bet he’s out most nights having... Read More

Moving out, on and up…

James has moved out and it was as straightforward as we could have made it. We both managed to be reasonable about the whole thing but he has only taken what he needed, so we have more sorting out to... Read More

I need to insure my financial future but I’m not sure how

I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do about the house, whether to push to stay here, whether to have a fresh start and find a new place; just what to do about money generally. It suddenly hit home... Read More

Focus on what I can control

I am writing again. It is remarkably therapeutic to put my thoughts and feelings into words and share them like this. Reading back through the earlier blogs I can see when I let my emotions get the better of me... Read More

He’s rejected me – has he forgotten about our babies too?

I want to curl up into a tiny ball and sleep. I feel so numb inside. I have no tears and I can’t talk about it any more because I have nothing to new to say. It’s the same thing... Read More

Decision made: we’re going to get divorced

I’ve made my decision, I’ve told Mum and Dad and spoken to SA Law. I’m definitely going ahead with a divorce. Deep breath. This has been going round and round in my head for so long that it’s affecting every... Read More

How do I know that my children will be looked after?

James is seeing someone. I can’t believe it –It’s so soon. He seems to have moved on so quickly and I am feeling really hurt. I feel numb inside and need time to digest this. I also need to ask... Read More

Ruling on Schooling

James has now said that we can't afford to send Charlotte to private school in September 2017. I phoned SA Law and Marilyn was in court so I spoke to Kiran as I was just so worried about the sudden... Read More

The Conversation

After a long heart to heart with James, it’s been agreed that we’re going to separate and I will look into divorce. The conversation wasn’t as straightforward as that sentence makes it sound. He was very angry and said a... Read More

Saying it out loud

It’s been awhile since I updated this blog as I needed time to think. On Marilyn’s advice I’ve spoken to Mum and Dad and to my best friend. It was interesting to hear their thoughts. Mum wasn’t surprised at all.... Read More

Biting the bullet

I promised myself that I’d find a solicitor. And I have. It’s just taken me longer than I thought it would. The first one I called wasn’t my cup of tea and then end of term meant that I put... Read More

Christmas wasn’t the break I’d hoped for

On reflection, I have to be honest and say that Christmas wasn’t the break that I’d hoped it would be. I felt quite lonely. Most of my time was spent playing with Lottie and Dylan, who were absolutely adorable. James... Read More

My marriage isn’t going to last much longer

I don’t think that my marriage is going to last much longer. That’s the first time that I’ve written it down. I’m writing this to try and bring some semblance of order to my thoughts. My gut says it’s all... Read More