It’s Easter Sunday. Rabbits are hidden around the house - fluffy ones and chocolate ones, not real ones although Lottie would love a pet bunny! As soon as the children wake up, they’ll want to do their traditional Easter hunt:...
Read More
Feeling delicate today after a night out with Ellie and the girls. We went to a wonderful restaurant and had a lot of fun: great conversations and lots of laughter. It reminded me that I do enjoy going out and...
Read More
I didn’t expect to continue writing this blog as receiving the Absolute felt like a natural end to the divorce process and to me sharing my story. Yet, there is still so much going on, I think it would be...
Read More
The Decree Absolute has arrived - I am officially divorced. It feels strangely normal and it’s not the momentous occasion that I was expecting. I think that the length of time during the separation and divorce process has allowed me...
Read More
So much change in my life in the past year and yet here I am, sitting in a soft play centre with a coffee in hand, watching my children have a wonderful time with their friends. It’s this normality that...
Read More
Today I talked to the Head at Lottie’s school to keep her updated - in short to tell her that the divorce is pretty much finalised. I’ve spoken to her regularly throughout the year as Marilyn explained about the importance...
Read More
I could be divorced today. It’s been just over two weeks since Marilyn applied for the Decree Absolute and she indicated that this is about the time that it takes for the court to stamp approval. It’s a strange feeling...
Read More
Prompted by an off the cuff question from my friend Ellie when I told her about the consent order, I have been pondering whether to start using my maiden name again. To change it would be a public declaration of...
Read More
Now I’ve heard it all. James is refusing to have a medical for his life insurance. Really? It’s not as if he’s been asked to walk naked down the high street, it’s just a check up with a doctor. It’s...
Read More
This week has been all about the house (never mind Valentines Day!). Steve Kenneford in the Conveyancing team is dealing with getting James released from the mortgage and the house transferred to me. Marilyn is liasing directly with Steve so...
Read More
Marilyn’s put me in contact with her colleague Catherine Robson, part of the Wills trust & Probate team to help me write a new will. It should be fairly straight forward but I want to make sure that should anything...
Read More
I’m still bemused by James’s phone call. I imagine that there will be a few times over the next few months when we both realise that things have changed. Times when we would have previously reached out to each other...
Read More
A phone call from James last night - he’s broken his wrist skiing. I feel for him but I could not believe that he phoned to tell me and to ask me for advice. I know that I’ve been on...
Read More
James is in Whistler with Amelia. I’m relatively ok with this but the children were asking to see him. I’ve explained he’s away for a few days but they don’t understand why they’re not on holiday with him. This is...
Read More
Marilyn called to inform me that the consent order is back from the court. The judge didn’t raise any queries and it means that our financial agreement is now legally binding. I can still feel the tension in my shoulders...
Read More
A quick update: had an amazing night out with Ellie and the school Mums. We had drinks, dinner and more drinks. For once, I felt really good about myself and was delighted to be out - I guess it showed...
Read More
The children are settled back into the school & nursery routine, and just as I manage to get them out of the post-Christmas lull James announces that he’s going skiing for a week in February, which means he can’t have...
Read More
A day at home alone is a good chance to reflect on the year that’s passed. I firmly believe that I’m in a not-too-bad-a-place considering the split from James. More importantly, the children seem happy. When they are not with...
Read More
There’s an awful lot of boxes in my loft: boxes of records, photographs, our antique dinner service, university files. As I packed our Christmas decorations away for another year, I realised just how many boxes remain to be sorted and...
Read More
We’ve had a lovely Christmas with Mum and Dad. Lottie and Dylan played happily, I’ve taught Lottie the basics of Uno, and we’ve all eaten way too much! Boxing Day was fun too - friends came over and we had...
Read More
I’ve had time to reflect on James’s night out and to be honest, I’m still hurting. I don’t blame Michelle for going out with them but I wish I didn’t know about it. The photograph makes it worse, of course....
Read More
I should know better than to look at Facebook. I only logged on to find out about a planned school mums night out in January and what jumps out at me? A photograph of James and Amelia with Michelle and...
Read More
My children have had to make two cards at school - one for Mummy and one for Daddy. I feel awful. My poor children being singled out for their parents choosing not to be together. For the first time in...
Read More
A thought-provoking delivery in the post this morning - a card from James’s cousin addressed to all four of us. Obviously, James has not told his family about our changed circumstances and it will be a surprise to them when...
Read More
I finally grabbed an hour tonight to write the rest of the Christmas cards. For the first time, I signed the cards from Rebecca, Lottie and Dylan - no James. I’m sure I’ll get a few texts when the post...
Read More
It’s Lottie’s school play this afternoon and I’ll be seeing James for the first time since the roundtable. At least I know that we can be in the same room without it being awkward. Marilyn’s advice is that we focus...
Read More
Nothing is straightforward. Another call from James. This time to say that his parents want to see Lottie and Dylan on Christmas morning. In previous years they have been round before lunch but I hadn’t for one minute contemplated that...
Read More
James phoned to talk about Christmas today. I suppose with the Christmas adverts starting to appear on TV it’s prompted him to think about it. We’ve agreed that the children will be with me on Christmas Day and Boxing Day...
Read More
I am so relieved that we’ve agreed a financial settlement. I know that will give our children what they need and whilst things will inevitably be different to before we separated, I am fortunate to have enough money to live...
Read More
Marilyn was fantastic yesterday. She was amazing. She went through everything with a fine-toothed comb and was sensible, level headed yet open to compromise in order to help us reach an agreement. I really was impressed with how she helped...
Read More
The children have been away with James for a long weekend and they had a great time together, but Lottie is having the most awful nightmares. She’s woken twice now talking about a three-headed dog. It turns out that James...
Read More
One of the things that I hadn’t realised about the divorce process was how much time it all takes. Marilyn has prepared me for the roundtable meeting, explaining that it is important for me to listen and try not to...
Read More
James’ solicitor has confirmed that we will hold a roundtable meeting to talk about finances. It seems like quite a while ago that Marilyn suggested this meeting and I can’t say I’m looking forward to it but it is so...
Read More
James and I had a proper conversation yesterday about Lottie and Dylan. He dropped them off after taking them to see his parents for Sunday lunch and stayed for a cup of tea. It almost felt natural for the first...
Read More
James’s solicitor has sent through his settlement proposal. As suspected, James clearly doesn’t want to retain an interest in our house and the proposal was that it should be sold. We have a solution to that thanks to mum and...
Read More
I’m writing this through tears tonight, tears of gratitude. Mum and Dad have offered to help financially. They say they’d rather help me now when I need help rather than leave money to me as inheritance. Where the children and...
Read More
Week 3 of school - where has that time gone? This realisation has spurred me on once again. Marilyn’s been very patient with me but James and I need to make some decision about money and the children. The summer...
Read More
So today was interesting. A Mum stopped me at the school gates and asked if she could have a coffee with me. Apparently, she’s been reading my blog. I can’t believe it! At first I was totally shocked and confused...
Read More
Three nights away at Centre Parcs wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it might have been, the kids had a great time - if a little too much fast food - but I think it was really important that...
Read More
James is taking Dylan and Lottie to Centre Parcs for 3 nights and I’m doing my best to be fine about the whole thing. I am really aware that I have just been away for two weeks with the children,...
Read More
Isn’t it amazing how two weeks away in Northern Spain can make you feel like a new woman. The kids and I have come away with my Mum and Dad and I don’t know if it’s the lovely warm weather...
Read More
Nothing back from James’s solicitor. I had a feeling this would prove to be difficult. I’m just going to concentrate on my holiday and come back to this after my break. I can’t wait for two weeks away without having...
Read More
It looks like I can’t get James released from the mortgage. That’s not good news. I have to discuss this with James it means it will be more difficult for him to borrow money to buy a place for himself....
Read More
James is thinking about my suggestion that the kids and I stay in this house. We’ve agreed that I am going to investigate whether I can get him released from our current mortgage, then we can continue the conversation. I...
Read More
Lottie had her sports day yesterday but James wasn’t there. He chose to go to Lisbon with Amelia instead. The end of the school year is such a busy time with endless activities, open evenings, performances and outings, all of...
Read More
Last night was the first time in over 2 years that I haven’t had my children at home with me. It was the strangest feeling. Thankfully, Ellie took me out for dinner to take my mind off things for a...
Read More
My emotions are all over the place at the moment. I’m confused, I’m angry, I’m sad, and then I feel positive about the future again. Then that cycle repeats itself all over again. And again. In one of my “I’m...
Read More
Another complication. James’s solicitor has responded to Marilyn’s questions about the Nationwide account and the pension. It appears that the pension has been transferred into his new corporate pension, which makes sense, but the bank account was an “oversight”. This...
Read More
Well, James has backed off on his plan to go to Singapore and says that he’s off to Greece instead. That feels fair as he needs a break but it made me realise that we need a holiday too. I’ve...
Read More
Thank goodness for Marilyn. James called me last night to tell me he was planning to go to Singapore for the Grand Prix and casinos in September. He wanted to make sure that I haven’t got any holidays planned for...
Read More
Today I signed statement to apply for my Decreee Nisi. This has to go to the court and assuming all is in order, I’ll receive a date for my decree nisi in around 4 to 6 weeks’ time. Marilyn sent...
Read More
James’s solicitor has returned the Acknowledgement of Service document which confirms he will pay my costs of the divorce itself. All good but he also sent over his financial disclosure. I had to fight to control myself when Marilyn showed...
Read More
The children worry me. Dylan’s been waking up most nights crying about all sorts of things, so he’s been sleeping with me. Lottie is so quiet and pale. She’s stopped asking questions and seems withdrawn. She wants to cuddle all...
Read More
Today has been about finishing the Financial Disclosure Statement whilst the children were having a “Granny Day” in the park and baking cakes. Now it’s completed, it’s been a fascinating exercise to think about what I spend each week...and even...
Read More
I’ve started the Financial Disclosure Statement. Well, I’ve made phone calls to my pension provider and put a lot of thought into what I spend now to live and what I will spend in the future on the children. Marilyn...
Read More
Worried this week about how on earth I’m going to complete Form E - my financial disclosure statement. Marilyn has stressed its’ importance and that I need to take the time to do it properly as it’s the basis of...
Read More
Lottie’s birthday was difficult but I think she enjoyed it, which is what matters. In the end, James took her out to breakfast - without Dylan - which she loved. He dropped her to school and I picked up. Mum...
Read More
It’s nearly Lottie’s 5th birthday and I can’t work out how this is going to work. It’s on a Friday so she will get up and go to school as usual but what happens after school? Quite understandably she will...
Read More
So, even though James has moved out, I still seem to find myself waiting around to find out what he’s doing and then I fit in around him. Annoying, to say the least. I bet he’s out most nights having...
Read More
James has moved out and it was as straightforward as we could have made it. We both managed to be reasonable about the whole thing but he has only taken what he needed, so we have more sorting out to...
Read More
I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do about the house, whether to push to stay here, whether to have a fresh start and find a new place; just what to do about money generally. It suddenly hit home...
Read More
I am writing again. It is remarkably therapeutic to put my thoughts and feelings into words and share them like this. Reading back through the earlier blogs I can see when I let my emotions get the better of me...
Read More
I want to curl up into a tiny ball and sleep. I feel so numb inside. I have no tears and I can’t talk about it any more because I have nothing to new to say. It’s the same thing...
Read More
I’ve made my decision, I’ve told Mum and Dad and spoken to SA Law. I’m definitely going ahead with a divorce. Deep breath. This has been going round and round in my head for so long that it’s affecting every...
Read More
James is seeing someone. I can’t believe it –It’s so soon. He seems to have moved on so quickly and I am feeling really hurt. I feel numb inside and need time to digest this. I also need to ask...
Read More
James has now said that we can't afford to send Charlotte to private school in September 2017. I phoned SA Law and Marilyn was in court so I spoke to Kiran as I was just so worried about the sudden...
Read More
After a long heart to heart with James, it’s been agreed that we’re going to separate and I will look into divorce. The conversation wasn’t as straightforward as that sentence makes it sound. He was very angry and said a...
Read More
It’s been awhile since I updated this blog as I needed time to think. On Marilyn’s advice I’ve spoken to Mum and Dad and to my best friend. It was interesting to hear their thoughts. Mum wasn’t surprised at all....
Read More
I promised myself that I’d find a solicitor. And I have. It’s just taken me longer than I thought it would. The first one I called wasn’t my cup of tea and then end of term meant that I put...
Read More
On reflection, I have to be honest and say that Christmas wasn’t the break that I’d hoped it would be. I felt quite lonely. Most of my time was spent playing with Lottie and Dylan, who were absolutely adorable. James...
Read More
I don’t think that my marriage is going to last much longer. That’s the first time that I’ve written it down. I’m writing this to try and bring some semblance of order to my thoughts. My gut says it’s all...
Read More
